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I remember being in year ten and complaining to my mum how
nearly everyone I knew started their period and I had not. I felt like I was
missing out on this crucial milestone. Then, weirdly, somehow, mother nature
heard my frustration and gave me the painful gift of starting my period.
As, I matured in my period journey I began to realize how
this natural biological process was painted as something shameful; something
that should be hidden.
I remember having to wake up for
the predawn meal during the month of fasting, to hide the fact that I was on
my period. During the day I would quickly prepare meals and snacks and eat them
sneakily, so no one could smell food or see me eating, as otherwise they would
know why I was not fasting.
In the beginning years of my
period I use to have this fear of leaking into my clothes. I was always scared
of blood stains showing. When I was on my periods I would hide my used pads in
the bathroom bin and quickly empty it, so no men in my family would see
sanitary towels in the bin. I would try and discreetly take out my sanitary
towel when I was at school or work, so no one would see. If I did not have a
pocket, or could not take a bag with me in to the bathroom then I would have to
quickly place my sanitary towel in my sleeve. Hopefully, nobody would notice
anything weird with the shape of my forearm.
I remember sending my younger
sister to the local shop to buy my emergency sanitary towels. As, I felt
embarrassed facing the Asian male worker at the till. Thinking about it I
always felt embarrassed buying sanitary towels. As, I placed my packets of
sanitary towels in the space before the cash register in the supermarket, I felt
I would be judged by workers and shoppers. I would even try and hide my sanitary
towels alongside other items. Maybe, no one would notice.
This is a part of my biology. A
natural human process that every woman experiences. Why did I have to hide my
period? Why did I feel embarrassed? I felt on one hand, it was something
ingrained within me due to my desi culture. The view that this is something
dirty, shameful and should be hidden. I could hear, my inner old Asian aunty
voice saying, “a proper lady, should carry out this time discreetly.”
My period is usually accompanied
by very unpleasant symptoms. Alongside, the excruciating stomach
cramps, body pains, tiredness, migraines and fluctuations in mood making it
difficult for me to get on with my normal day, I began to further question why
I should feel ashamed. I am the one who is going through this difficult ordeal
with its associated physical and mental symptoms and I am the one who should
feel ashamed, hide this and act like it does not phase me. I was done being
told how I should feel or act and decided to be proactive. I began to open up
the dialogue with my family and others around me to remove the taboo of my
period.
Looking around the world period
shaming is widespread, in some cases in extremities. Women are separated in different
rooms during this time. Some even having to live separately from their
families. Women are not allowed to prepare and touch the familial food. Women are
not allowed to take part in work, recreational and daily activities. The
clothes that women wear during their period have to be kept separate from their
normal clothes. All sorts of other period-shaming practises still exist around
the world.
Just last year, Kiran Gandhi a
London Marathon runner was criticised for allowing her period to run freely
during her run. Even though, she did this to raise awareness for women who did
not have access to feminine products. Kiran Ghandi in answering the criticism,
highlighted the important issue of how society is still uncomfortable with this
natural process. I particularly liked her parallel to how a woman’s body is
objectified and freely discussed by society but, as a woman’s period falls out of
the domain of sexual objectification and pleasure it becomes uncomfortable. A
woman’s body does not only exist for sexual objectification. Our period is a
part of us. Just because it does not fit into this ‘desirous image of pleasure’
which society believes a woman to be, it should be discarded? Negativity should
not be associated with a women’s period. It is not something that should be
disguised, seen as filthy and impure.
For some time now I have been
waving the flag of ‘menstruational peace'. Let’s stand together as women and
not allow others to impose period shaming feelings and practises upon us. Free
the period!
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