My dua journey

It has been a week now since Ramadhan has come to an end. Even though fasting entailed staying hungry, thirsty for long hours, accompanied by resultant fatigue and difficulty in sustaining attention. I would always feel refreshed after making dua. 

After Ramadhan, I began to think about how much my capability of dua making had improved. The previous content in my dua’s I felt was empty, generic and habitual. I did not realize the value in this act of worship. I had this minimalistic understanding of dua as some type of request hotline.

When I began to strip all the layers back, sat on my prayer mat, approached with humility and just had a conversation from the heart. Then what was experienced was something of unexplainable beauty. Dua has now become so dear to me. It is my most prized possession. If I placed this experience on the palm of my hand and clenched my fist, no matter how hard anyone would try they would be unable to even catch a glimpse of its beauty. Now, if a day goes by without experiencing this prize, I feel anxious, uneasy and lost.

The more I learnt about my religion, understanding the stories of the previous prophets, the difficulties they had gone through, understanding and reflecting over the Qur’an, the concepts of patience, trust and reliance in Allah, my dua’s began to change. A deeper sense of relatability ensued which strengthened the conviction of my prayers. I had the greatest confidant on my side. I would talk though every inch of my mind. I would unload all my: worries, fears, regrets over the past and concerns for the future, ambitions and dreams.

Dua soon became my most loved pre-sleep ritual. I would set the scene. Turn the lights off. Maybe open the curtains to let some natural light in. Lay out the prayer mat. Sit down and raise my hands. The dominance of darkness added a greater intimacy within the moment. It amplified my aloneness, placed a pause on what was going on around me. Giving me permission to be truly vulnerable and lay out my heart and mind. The post-dua feeling was a sense of calm washing over me. My mind was at rest, the heart whole and the soul at peace.

The pinnacle of dua experience can only be felt within the last third of the night. As, the prophet Muhammed (saw) said: “The closest any worshipper can be to His Lord is during the last part of the night, so if you can be amongst those who remember Allah at that time, then do so,”(al-Tirmidhi, al-Nasa'i, al-Hakim, classed as saheeh, authenticated by al-Albani in Saheeh al-Jami, 1173). If that night falls In Ramadhan then it becomes even more magical. After dua in that last third of the night of Ramadhan, I would wake up feeling light. A sense of ease would follow me throughout the day. An inner equilibrium would settle within me. The greatest feeling of spirituality and closeness to Allah was experienced within this time. Everyone else is asleep, resting. The chaos of the world has taken its respite. There you are sat alone in the darkness, in the depth of the night. As, you are making dua you close your eyes for a moment. You feel the words you are trying to convey. You breathe in an out and within that breathing you experience a silence. In this silence there is a stillness where inner peace radiates inwardly and outwardly. In this aloneness you feel connected with Allah. The power of the simplicity of this act astonishes you. It is just me, in a room, sat on the floor, with my hands raised talking to my Lord.

After Ramadhan you may be feeling like you are losing your imaan boost. You may be going through a difficult time and feel like you have no one to speak to, no one understands. You feel disconnected to Allah. I have not been the best Muslim. I have not been praying. I have not treated people well. I am such a sinner. My life is such a mess. Thoughts such as these or what you had done in the past do not matter. It is so unbelievably simple. Your heart, mind and soul can finally be at one, at peace. There are no more distractions. Find your quiet space, sit down, raise your hands and speak from the heart. What do you have to lose?

The prophet Muhammed (saw) said:

“Your Lord, may He be blessed and exalted, is characterized by modesty and generosity, and He is so kind to His slave that, if His slave raises his hands to Him, He does not let him take them back empty.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood (1488); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood).

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