Being fair. In some countries, cultures and communities this is an obsession. To be fair skinned for some reason is the pinnacle of beauty. Something to be aspired to. Those who are fair skinned are treated better, are perceived to be more attractive and beautiful. Whereas, those who are darker skinned are looked down upon. If you are a woman, you become a social pariah.
By why is this? Why is there a fixation upon fair skin? This obsession is seen across South Asia, East Asia and even Africa. Fairness creams, make-up and skincare products containing whitening components depict to some extent this never ending obsession. My first encounter with this fair-skin fanaticism was when I visited Pakistan as a young child. It was the first time I came across a facial cream named Fair and Lovely. It was advertised everywhere. Thinking back on this I didn’t realize how powerful the message of this product was. If you wear this facial cream, you will be fair and hence perceived as lovely. The concept of fairness was being tied to beauty. As, if those who are not fair skinned are not ‘lovely’, not beautiful.
When I look closely at Pakistani and Indian cinema I see the
same message propagated. It might not be overt to the masses due to
desensitization by repeated exposure. But, I guarantee if you look closely you
will see. When you watch these Asian TV serials, commercials and films the
female characters are predominantly played by fair skinned actresses. This standard is heavily placed upon women
and not upon men.
What is the importance of this observation? Well, if you’re
exposed to only fair skinned Asian actresses in such a medium then what will
you perceive as normal, beautiful or even aspirational? The brown skinned Asian
girl or darker will be perceived as abnormal, unattractive and non-
aspirational. We see this clearly in our real lives. At weddings I have seen a
bride made to look fairer, looking completely distant from her original skin
colour. The first comment people make about the brides' appearance within and
outside the wedding is how fair she looked, equating this to her level of
prettiness. Countless times I have read about personal accounts or heard
personally from individuals that due to their ‘supposed’ dark skin they were
rejected for marriage. This was communicated quite rudely and openly or the
girl sensed this was the reason she was overlooked. Some men have gone as far
as to detail in their adverts for marriage the specific skin colour of a
potential wife. Personally, I received a message from a matchmaker where a
mother specified in a message that said she had two sons who were fair and was
looking for a girl who was fair. This really upset me. As, I felt my worthiness
as a potential wife was being judged against the colour of my skin. I shouldn’t
need to: come across this type of behaviour, engage in such a thinking cycle and
feel the emotions that I felt.
The normalization of such views has detrimental effects. Is
nobody realizing this? Self-esteem, self-image, one’s perception of beauty and
what constitutes attractiveness are all factors that can be affected within one
person. I can imagine a young girl growing up and being fed the message that
only fair is beautiful. She’s told not go out and play in the sun, because
she’ll become ‘darker’. If she gets more tanned, then that’s bad. When her cousins come to her house she’s
always compared with her fairer cousin. She sits to watch TV and her family put
on what they think is a nice and fun Bollywood movie. All the actresses are
fair. She thinks wow they are so beautiful; I wish I grow up to look like
them. She goes upstairs after the movie
is over and she’s playing dress up. She looks in the mirror, pinches the skin
on her cheeks and says to herself, “I’m not fair like the movie actress, I wish
I could be fair like her.” In her mind, she wishes and imagines waking up in
the morning with white skin. When she wakes up in the morning she’s
disappointed because nothing has changed. Fast forward and her family are looking for a
potential suitor for her to marry. Her
picture has been sent to many matchmakers. One day she overhears a matchmaker
on the phone telling her mum that due to her darker skin it may be difficult to
find her a match, as a lot of men are looking for fair skinned girls. She runs
up to her room, lies on her bed and cries. She makes scratching gestures at her
own face. She thinks to herself I’m a good person. Why is this happening to me?
I’m smart, educated, charitable and kind. I’ve never took a step out of line. Why
are people rejecting me before knowing me? Why is my skin colour bad? I can’t
change my skin colour. Am I that unattractive? Am I not beautiful?
This little
tale reflects some of the truths real women experience. You can see how these
type of views can be psychologically damaging. A young woman could lose her
sense of self -worth. She could start questioning her self-image and start
hating her skin colour. If things become more serious she could develop
depression, anxiety and even self-harming behaviours. This is not okay!
Looking at the female empowerment movement, you see more
voices coming forward championing the message of loving and being proud of your
skin colour. More women are trying to raise attention towards this
standardization of beauty. Fair does not
always equal lovely! As, well as addressing this on the stage of social media we
also need to address this at the most crucial level; the home. Parents needs to
raise their children in such a manner, that they have a more self-loving view of
what beautiful is. Beautiful is any skin colour. Whatever skin colour you’re in
or others are in we need to show tolerance, love and respect towards each
other. No skin colour is better than another.
As, the new generation of parents come forward they need to remember to
foster these positive and embracing perceptions of skin colour. Also, with the
right amount of tact, wisdom and respect we need to advise others. Correct them
when they say or do something that is propagating these narrow minded,
psychologically damaging and racist views.
On a final note, to the Muslim advocates I say, educate
yourself on your religion. By following such views, treating people lesser,
making them feel like they are unworthy and not beautiful. You are going
against the teachings of our beloved messenger, the prophet Muhammed (SAW). I’ll leave you with some words of our
beloved prophet Muhammed (SAW) from his final sermon. These being a part of his
final message to the people emphasizes the importance of acceptance and the
value of the inner state over external appearance. You may think being fair is
more beautiful but how often do you look to see if someone’s heart is
beautiful?
“All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab
has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an
Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any
superiority over white except by piety and good action.” (Masnud Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, Hadith no
19774).
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