I saw you standing in your room with all your belongings packed away. I saw your excitement when you had henna applied on your feet. When everyone applied oil on you in your pithi, I felt the nearness draw closer. Only one day left. When I tied that bracelet on your hand during the mehndi, your eyes lit up. I saw how much it meant to you. Watching you get ready for your rukhsati day was the beginning of my experience of speechlessness. When you arrived in the living room ready in your wedding dress with your veil secured. I thought, there she was, the bride. Holding your trail whilst walking down the aisle, I saw your father cry as he hugged you. We all knew, that moment was drawing closer. The red dupatta was placed on your head, the dua began. Everyone had tears in their eyes. My chest began to feel heavy, an intense emotion overcame me. I tried my best to hold my tears back. I held on tight to your clutch and bouquet. You sat in your wedding car, ready to be taken away. As, I let go of that clutch and bouquet I had to let go of you. It was time.
When my best friend broke the official news of her engagement, I was ecstatic. One of the most special people in my life was soon stepping onto this new, exciting path. I enjoyed being a part of her whole wedding process. From the wedding planning trips, to packing wedding gifts and favours. I felt I was truly sharing this happiness with my beloved friend.
As, the wedding week came closer my emotions were heightened. The wedding week was an intense emotional rollercoaster. Every ceremony highlighted the closeness of her leaving. On one hand I was extremely happy because she found the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. But, on the other, I felt sadness because I knew the dynamic of our friendship was going to change. She was leaving. She was no longer going to be a short drive away.
On the drive home
from the walima, as Bollywood music captured the background and the city
buildings and greenery flew past my passenger window. I felt this weird
discomfort. An amalgamation of sadness and happiness. An inner emptiness, like something was missing. I felt like I left a part of me behind. A sense of loss began to dominate within me. As, I began to think about it, I realised she is a gift
in my life. This gift may not be in close proximity to me anymore and not as accessible.
But this gift is a blessing. So, the precious moments she blessed my life with are
sufficient. In my life I have never experienced a friendship like this. A friend
who made me feel so valued, loved and special. A person who was so deeply
caring and offered her full heart to me in every moment. She was always
sweet, nothing ever said in the wrong way. She was my biggest supporter, celebrating my achievements. She was my consoler when I went through my low moments. I was
never made to feel like I was a burden. She always had time for me. Whenever we
met, our story continued, it was like nothing had changed. It is one of those rare, precious friendships.
Even though I still feel a sense of loss. The intensity of
this loss is beginning to lighten. I have not lost this gift. True friendships
are enduring. With change they become deeper and stronger. If I am only left
with one friendship in this life, I know this will be it.
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