Confessions...

Being a second-class citizen started in my own home.

My brothers served before me.

Their needs put before me.

They were pushed in their interests.

If I wanted to try something it was dismissed.

As a girl, my interests were irrelevant.

Girls don’t do that!

Cook, clean, take care of the house, that’s your responsibility.

The kitchen, the home, is where you belong.

My biological clock is ticking

Having children was something I always saw in the distant future. When fate decided I would meet the right person, leaving me with ample time to start a family.

So, what do you do?

Over the years, I have noticed that a staple conversational point in meeting new people, catching up with acquaintances and friends was always education or career related. Majority of the times it would be posed in the manner, so, what do you do?

I have had enough with the double standards against the hijab

When I decided to permanently wear the hijab at age seventeen I felt like I was taking the step towards taking my faith seriously. My hijab was a symbol, telling the world that I recognized myself as a Muslim; a submitter to one God. But, I soon realised that this act of spirituality would be subject to double standards.

#Nomakeup

Make-up is marketed to be associated with what women consider positive; confidence, self-esteem, professionalism, beauty, sexiness, expression an art form. Women have internalized these concepts and use these as a basis for their love and use of make-up.

But, when I look beyond the surface of this ‘positivity’ I see something that is quite dangerous.

I am not ashamed of my period

I remember being in year ten and complaining to my mum how nearly everyone I knew started their period and I had not. I felt like I was missing out on this crucial milestone. Then, weirdly, somehow, mother nature heard my frustration and gave me the painful gift of starting my period.

As, I matured in my period journey I began to realize how this natural biological process was painted as something shameful; something that should be hidden.

When your best friend gets married

I saw you standing in your room with all your belongings packed away. I saw your excitement when you had henna applied on your feet. When everyone applied oil on you in your pithi, I felt the nearness draw closer. Only one day left. When I tied that bracelet on your hand during the mehndi, your eyes lit up. I saw how much it meant to you. Watching you get ready for your rukhsati day was the beginning of my experience of speechlessness. When you arrived in the living room ready in your wedding dress with your veil secured. I thought, there she was, the bride. Holding your trail whilst walking down the aisle, I saw your father cry as he hugged you. We all knew, that moment was drawing closer. The red dupatta was placed on your head, the dua began. Everyone had tears in their eyes. My chest began to feel heavy, an intense emotion overcame me. I tried my best to hold my tears back. I held on tight to your clutch and bouquet. You sat in your wedding car, ready to be taken away. As, I let go of that clutch and bouquet I had to let go of you. It was time.

Are you fair and lovely?

Being fair. In some countries, cultures and communities this is an obsession. To be fair skinned for some reason is the pinnacle of beauty. Something to be aspired to. Those who are fair skinned are treated better, are perceived to be more attractive and beautiful. Whereas, those who are darker skinned are looked down upon. If you are a woman, you become a social pariah.

I don't want you to work after marriage

It’s been nearly a year now, since I have been husband hunting. This process hasn’t been easy or simple. I feel like I am constantly coming across barriers. One of these is: I don’t want you to work after marriage.