When I decided to permanently wear the hijab at age
seventeen I felt like I was taking the step towards taking my faith seriously.
My hijab was a symbol, telling the world that I recognized myself as a Muslim;
a submitter to one God. But, I soon realised that this act of spirituality
would be subject to double standards.
I decided to wear my hijab at the beginning of the month of
Ramadhan. On my first day going to college other Muslims questioned me. Asking
If I would only be wearing the hijab for the month of Ramadhan. My response
would baffle them. As, many Muslim girls who didn’t normally wear the hijab
would only wear it for the month of Ramadhan. This attitude was toxic and
unkind. I saw this similar attitude in my fellow Muslims when other girls would
take their hijab off after Ramadhan, when young girls or women who dressed more
Islamic and wore hijab took their hijab off and changed their style of clothing
or when a Muslim woman who wore hijab did something that was considered sinful.
As, I grew older I began to see the depth of unfair criticism
levied against Muslim women who wore the hijab. The appearance of her hijab,
her clothing, the amount of make-up she wore, her mannerisms, who she associated
herself with, how she carried herself, her lifestyle, everything about her was
open to commentary by fellow Muslims.
Alongside, criticisms and judgement I would frequently hear
the statement, “why doesn’t she just take it off, what is the point of her
wearing it?” The hijab could only be associated with perfection. If you fell out
of this parameter of perfection, then you had to take off your hijab and leave
from the nearest exit. Why did Muslim women who wear the hijab have to be perfect?
Why was she only subject to criticism?
When I looked at the source of the criticism it came from
two camps. Those, who considered themselves the ‘super’ Muslims. Being at the
higher spectrum of practising, it was their duty to correct women who wore
hijab, as these women had to live up to their standards. Then the others who
were more at the medial and lower spectrum of practising. They engaged in
criticism because they felt these Muslim women were flawed. Donning of the
hijab was only reserved for the ideal Muslim woman.
When the criticism came from Muslim men it made me feel as
if the sole responsibility for the image of Islam was upon women. Reminiscent
of how certain cultures placed the family honour on the shoulders of women. Men
using their power and control would take specific actions to prevent the women
of their family from doing anything that could be detrimental to their family
honour. This type of thinking from certain Muslim communities has filtered into
Islam. Resulting in hijabi women being unfairly targeted, criticized, judged
and even bullied by Muslim men, for not acting how hijabi Muslim women should
act. Rather, these Muslim men should focus on the flaws in their own gender
which have been the cause of many issues facing the Muslim community.
What I found odd was that a lot of the judgement came from
women. On one hand, this is due to women accepting the standard being placed
upon them. That their actions are detrimental to a ‘Muslim honour’. But on the
other hand, it is a product of this culture of women on women hate. An
important part of being Muslims is being good to others, treating people how
you would like to be treated and making excuses for the behaviour of others.
Judgement, gossip, backbiting, slander or any form of hating should be nowhere
near the conduct of a Muslim, man or woman. The concept of sisterhood is
generally rooted in identification with a gender and the experiences it
provides. Sisterhood in Islam transcends beyond this surface humanness. It is
deeper, more meaningful, focused on spiritually, united in submission to one
God. Encourage, support and spread positivity. Re-connect at this deeper level
of sisterhood and leave the criticism and judgement behind.
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