My biological clock is ticking

Having children was something I always saw in the distant future. When fate decided I would meet the right person, leaving me with ample time to start a family.

When I scroll down my social media feeds all I see are engagement announcements, weddings, peers who are having their first babies and posting updates of their children growing up. Nothing makes me happier than seeing two people who have found each other and are wanting to share and celebrate with their loved ones. Seeing the adoration, they have for their children warms my heart. But, the fulfilment of significant milestones in others lives brings to my realization the fleeting nature of time. What I once thought I had years to work towards, is now falling between a smaller and smaller time frame with every coming year.

What amplifies the awareness of my biological clock is the real pressure of having to find someone to have a family with. On the outside this may seem simple and do-able. But, this person won’t just become the father of my children. He will be my companion for life. So, within this real continuing time crunch, I have to ensure I find someone that I can share a compatibility that will hopefully translate into a healthy lifelong relationship.

Whilst starting off exciting this process can easily become draining. You face constant disappointment after: marriage events, one to one meetings, online exchanges and set-ups by matchmakers. Finding a well-rounded man begins to feel impossible. On top of this, you have peers, family, relatives and the wider society judging you for being single. When did a women’s age and her marriageability become a part of casual conversation? Some feel free to make remarks on a woman’s standards and preferences for a future partner. Attributing all blame on the women for her passing fertility. All of this takes its toll. You begin to think will I ever meet the right person? Will I miss out on having children?

Even though time is a true reality for women in wanting to have children. You sometimes feel as if you’re running against the clock. There is so much you want to do. You want to progress in the career you have worked so hard and studied for. Hopefully, building your financial independence with time. Develop interests, those in relation to education, travel and other hobbies that become difficult to maintain or pursue once having children. Most crucially, you want to feel you have carried out the necessary preparation. Such as, knowing: how to look after a child (physical, emotional and mental needs), what type of parenting method you would like to use and how you would facilitate their spiritual and worldly education.

Once you are with the person you thought at one point you would never meet, then the right time to start a family is always in the back of your mind. You want to spend that one to one time with your partner. Enjoying each other’s company in all them typical couple activities. Getting to know each other on a deeper level. Building a strong foundation for your relationship. Once you have a child they become the primary focus, as you and your partner become responsible for nurturing another life. Having a child in the early stages of a relationship could easily take away from the time to truly enjoy and build your relationship, leaving you to feel regretful. But, if you are already older and contemplate having children later, then another host of practicalities turn up. Concerns regarding conceiving, pregnancy, labour and its impact on your health. The ability to sustain the required energy in raising children without comprising their upbringing.

The role that women play, their self-view, beliefs, their empowerment has changed and will continue to develop in this ever-advancing society. Women, are now more than ever able to choose the path they want to take in life. Their level of success is not solely connected to having a husband and children. A women’s identity is recognized by its varied richness. The voices of women have become louder and fearless against gender inequalities. Women have progressed and achieved in many fields. Yet, the biological clock still remains. And In this constantly modernizing world it gives rise to a whole host of issues. 

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